Project Duo : Outtakes
by CyberDreamer
Summary: Anything written by both Nick and I will be headed Project Duo. Guest appearances by Ace Rayer and A Knight.


**Joint Outtakes  
  
**

Nick and I TRIED to write a fic together (I write one chapter, he writes the other) and I still have my first chapter somewhere, but he can't write the way I do, so you'll have to wait. In the meantime, this is what we figured out:   
  
Conclusion 1: We're both mentally screwed up.  
Conclusion 2: We're foils for each other.  
Addendum to Conclusion 2: That means our personalities bounce off each other.  
Note to Addendum: Which makes for funny stuff.  
Conclusion 3: We're not cut out for a joint fic yet.  
Conclusion 4: We should write outtakes together.  
Decision: Full speed ahead. Enjoy.   
  
_Episode: Data 7 and Julian  
Scene: While attempting to catch JULIAN, DATA 7 miscalculates the catch, and misses JULIAN, and as he has nothing to stop himself, he slams into a wall, breaking his leg.  
_Data 7: Shitshitshitshit!**  
**Director: Oh for- CUT! Damnit, Data 7!  
Assistant Director: Oh gawdHere we go.  
Data 7: I suppose it's my fault because Julian can't jump off a platform, right?  
Julian: _(sitting up, rubbing his forehead)_ Owch.  
Asst. Director: You okay, Julian?  
Julian: Uh..  
Cybersix: That panther has just got to be cursed. We've broken two sets, I'VE flown into a wall three times, and now Julian's rubbing a lump the size of a golf ball. Someone tell me we're done filming.  
Data 7: I appreciate thy support, sister mine.  
Cyber Ten: (_Backstage, laughing his ass off_)  
Data 7: (_Growling_) I will murder him, I swear it. Makeup! _(Swarm of makeup artists surround Data, and give him the treatment)_  
Cybersix: I'll help you murder him.  
Director: I smell a lawsuit...  
Asst. Director: Data, please clean up, alright, you're costing us a fortune.  
Julian: Can I play football?  
Asst. Director: No, Julian.  
Data 7: I'M costing a fortune?  
Asst. Director: That must be a psychological trick. Yes, Data, your set distruction alone is taking big chunks out of our income.  
Data: What about Kelsey's Midol bills? She must take a box a day, and if not, she damn well should!  
Director: All right, that's going way too far!  
Cybersix: Brother dearest, I'm going to smack you.  
Data 7:And I'll gnaw your had like a raw steak!  
Director: Great, all we need, more hospital bills.  
Julian: Can I play football?  
Asst. Director: No, Julian! What part don't you understand of that?!  
Julian: The "no" part.  
Asst. Director: Kelsey, why did you drag me into this. rubs his forehead  
Director: You WANTED to direct an episode, Nick! Don't pin this on me. Don't say I didn't warn you about these people...And I use the term loosely.  
Data 7: (_orders some flowers secretly and slips a card into them)_  
Asst Director: Yeah, yeah.Loosely.  
_(A bunch of flowers falls into the Directors' laps. A card on it reads "When I look at my contract, I'll be thinking of you. And pretty soon, my lawyers will too!")_  
Director: _(looking up at Data)_  
Asst. Director: _(doing the same)_  
Data 7:_(Smirking evilly, giving the two the middle claw)  
_Director: _(after much deliberation) _...what say, Nick? Shall we give him a raise?  
Asst. Director: Excellent idea.  
Cybersix: All he does is growl in this episode!  
Asst Director: And you cost us a fortune in hats!  
Director: Shut up, will you? You want the series discontinued after one episode? No?  
Julian: Can I play football?  
Everyone: No, dammit!!!  
Julian: Oh, okay.  
_  
Episode 14: An Attempt at Untitled  
Scene: The Discovery of a New Cyber  
  
CYBERSIX and DATA 7 are supposed to be attacking CYBERTEN, without realizing who he is. There are not supposed to be actual punches thrown. ...Good luck.  
  
_Director: All right, all right...Okay, Sixies, let's take it from the top.  
Cybersix: _(grumbling)_ You have no idea how hard it is not to hit him.  
Cyber Ten: You couldn't hit the side of a barn if you wanted to.  
Cybersix: You oughta watch me sometime.  
Asst. Director: Can we PLEASE get on with it?  
Data 7: Before I sue.  
Director: QUICK QUICK! Action!  
Cybersix: ...not yet, Data 7...  
Cyber Ten: (_aiming a backkick at the shrubbery')  
_Data 7: How about NOW?  
(_loud scuffling noises; it's obvious that the trio is landing hits on each other, when WHAM, Data 7 flies out of the bunch and crashes into Lori's dressing room)_  
Lori: OH MY LORD! I'm going to-  
Cybersix: -Don't say it!  
Lori: -SUE!  
Director: Cut! Cut! Cut! Oh dammit...  
Asst. Director: Yeah. Dammit about sums it up. That's another 5000 off the budget.  
Director: ...goodbye, Season 2.  
Asst. Director: You can say that again.  
Cybersix: Am I out of a job?  
Data 7: You can still work at nightclubs. I mean, you ARE the perfect woman, right?  
Cybersix: Shut your damn mouth, panther boy.  
Cyber Ten: ...which nightclub, where, and how much to get in?  
Director: WE ARE NOT THE MAXWELL FAMILY, GOD CURSE YOU! I WILL HAVE NO INCEST IN MY STUDIO!  
Asst. Director: You sure? Cause, uh, damn, we could charge money...  
Lori: _(crying)_ I've been violated!  
Data 7: The hell you've been violated. You're fully clothed, for Chrissake.  
Director: ...paycuts all around.  
Cybersix: I knew it! I'll be in my trailer.  
Asst. Director: Sorry...um, we had to sell it. The budget. You know.  
Cybersix: .....  
Asst. Director: _(looking very uneasy)  
_Cybersix: ...Say Kelsey, got any Midol?  
  
_Episode 14: An Attempt At Untitled  
Scene: Cyber Ten and Cyber Six are running to Von Riechter's headquarters, and the Fixed Ideas are there to stop them. Unfortunately, something is unusual about them..._   
Fixed Idea1: I say, it's Cyber Six!  
Fixed Idea 2: So it is, but who is this other chap?  
Cyber Ten: Hold a sec, here. What is this, MasterpieceTheater?  
Cyber Six: Little ugly to be the Myles Long.  
Fixed Idea 3: I despise this role! _(takes his mask off,showing a Shakespearian actor)_  
Asst Director: Where's Casting!  
Set: Out to coffee with Props.  
Asst Director: This is ludicrous.  
Director: WHY CAN'T WE EVER GET NORMAL FIXED IDEAS?!?  
Cyber Six: In the sense of the word, you mean?  
Director: Oh for the love of panthers...  
Set: Out to lunch with Makeup.  
Fixed Idea 1: I'm not getting paid nearly enough for this!  
Lucas: _(runs on set, wearing some armor and carrying a sword)_ I heard there were some Shakespeare guys on set!  
Director: I smell a lawsuit.  
Cyber Ten: _(sniffing at Lucas)_ I smell Elderberries.  
Cybersix: I smell an idiot...  
Director: Look, it's the WRITERS' FAULT!  
Jose: (peeking in) No no, Lucas just happens to be dense.  
Director: ...I'm not sure if I should agree. Lawsuits are bad, y'know, and I don't need two of them.  
Cybersix: Yeah, but it's not like YOUR pay gets cut.  
Director: Do you want to have Steven Spielberg direct your show? Or not?  
Cyber Ten: At least he has some actual experience.  
Director: I resent that.  
Fixed Idea 1: _(sniffing)_ You resemble it.  
Cybersix: Hey, whoa, whoa...Let's be NICE.  
Lucas: Nice?  
Cyber Ten: Nice?  
Asst. Director: Nice?  
Cybersix: ...Am I the ONLY Cyber with decent morals?  
Cyber Ten: We hurt people, Six. There go your morals.  
Asst. Director: Only way you can survive is to play on the lower levels.  
Director: And you'd know first hand, of course.  
Fixed Ideas: We're going to our trailers!  
Asst. Director: What trailers?   
  
_Episode: Unnamed  
Scene: None_  
_The cast is in the middle of a rehearsal. However, a lone knight rides by and lops off Lucas' head. Chaos reigns._   
Cybersix: _(staring madly at the still standing body)_   
Data7 and Cyber Ten: YES!!!! _(they dance)_   
Director: NO NO NO NO NO!   
Julian: That might be a step up in I.Q. for him...   
Jose: ...Maybe even TWO steps. This is Lucas, after all.   
Cybersix: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED LUCAS!   
Director: Who'll do this part now?  
_(A lone figure walks onto the set) _  
Mysterious Man: I will.   
Cyber Ten: Ace?   
Cybersix: _(falls over in Ace's arms)_ NOW I get my acting motivation!   
Ace Rayer: ...yes Six, I love you too...   
Director: This is nuts. Dimensions have been warped.   
Asst Director: At least he'll work for free....Salary ups for everyone! Now I can get the Elvis Collector Plate set.   
Everyone: _(after a brief cheer)_ ...WHAAAAT?   
Cybersix: I'm buying a lifetime supply of hats!   
Julian: I want a football!   
The Knight Responsible For Lucas's Demise: ...I demand payment for killing the idiot.   
Asst Director: You missed. _(pointing to Ten)_   
Cyber Ten: Whaaaaaaaaaaat!   
Knight: _(galloping at Ten)_   
Cyber Ten: _(running away crying)   
(They chase for the rest of the bit)_   
Director: ...we must pay this Knight. Salary cuts.   
Cybersix: There goes my hat...   
Julian: AND MY FOOTBALL!   
  
End. Finis. Caput.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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